The Final Countdown

Monday I used the logic, well I have been writing a paper the past 2 days so I should take a day off. So I just literally hung out with James and Mitch all day chillin doing what we do best. The night then began to role around and we needed to figure out what we were going to do for the night. So I sent out a message through SIS that we were going to do a power hour in Mitch's room. Ended up only being Lauren, Amanda, Elizabeth, Mitch, Mike, Joya and me. After the power hour we decided that we were going to hit up our usual Monday haunt Varsity. I just love cheap drinks way too much. We all go to the bus and see it drive right by us, which was super gay. Elizabeth and Lauren decide they are going to walk to Falmer and try and catch the bus there. I did not realize this for a couple minutes and all of sudden I told Mitch that we should catch up with them. We bolted and were soon followed by Lauren. Mike not wanting to run just went home and wrote a paper (mind you just half hour minimum after he does a power hour). We get on the bus go to the bar have a chill time and what not. Next day I had to start doing research for my Ethnographic film paper, which was probably one of the gayest things that I have ever done in my life. I hate Anthropology and think it is retarded. Even my professor said it was a useless field because there is no way to identify a culture through the experiences of a few people. Everyone has different identities and sees the culture through a different perspective. Basically Anthropology is just a giant generalization and is useless. Anyway I ended up drinking this NASTY stuff, that I swore off the next day, called White Ace. This shit is the devil and sneaks up on you really quick. A shit ton of us go to Karaoke, me being blackout ends up going crazy, and am a giant dick to everyone for some reason. I run off as usual and there you go. I woke up the next day feeling like a complete ass hole at 730 and was like screw this and just decided to write my anthro paper. Banged out that garbage in like an hour and a half. Watched Green Street Hooligans and then slept for a couple hours. That night we decided to go to Oceana. It was pretty sick and I had a good time. Elizabeth and I left without everyone and went and got Chips and Curry. I had never had them before and they were amazing. I wish I would have never went to Kebab No. 5 and just gone there the whole school year. Side note, so I made a bet with Mike how I would not eat a Kebab for the last month of school and succeeded. Fuck Kebabs. Then we went up and touched the sea to take it off our failed bucket list. We got about half, but still not a good effort. Next day all I had to do was write my bibliography and turn in my paper and then my semester was ALL DONE!!!!!! So Elizabeth and I got all that shit done and that evening I went out to dinner with all the people in my hall. We went to this good place called Good Friends Chinese Food. It was really nice. We all had a great time. After that we went to Oxygen for 1.50 shots and then eventually everyone else came into town and I met them at the door of Coalition. Coalition was so sick. They gave out free Santa hats at the door. They played some sick old school music and it was just really fun. The drinks weren't that bad either. £2 pints of Fosters so it was good for a club. Thea and I ended up being the people who stayed the latest. After we went and got Chips and Curry again and sat on a bench on the seafront eating them at 3 am. Then we went to the bus stop and waited forever for the bus and went home. Friday was our final day in Brighton and it was so strange. I basically just chilled all day and watched some TV and didn't do anything significant for my life, chillin with my boys and stuff. We then decided to go into town in the evening to go to the Pier and eat Fish and Chips. So Elizabeth, Thea, Mitch, Annalisa, and I all went in to town. Ate at this world famous Fish and Chips place and then walked the Pier. Thea is a psycho and got Ice Cream when it was like 40. We then went to Primark and I bought Chrissy her stupid shoes. Then cruised home and took a nap. After the nap I chilled with Mitch and James more then went over to Mike's pad. Everyone was chillin over there and it was a good opportunity to say goodbye to everyone all at once. I was surprisingly not really sad at all (no offense) I just think I was in such anguish and pain the previous 2 weeks that I got it out of my system and was ready for all this. I still love everyone. Went home packed and went to bed. Next day was the day. I was flying home with Thea, Hollis and Elizabeth so we all got to the airport together and took the same flight. I love British Airways (minus the $68 luggage fee). I jacked a free pair of DJ headphones that I am using right now that are really good being that they were free. We got free booze on the plane, and some awesome meals. Eventually towards the end of the flight we decide that we need to GFU. We bust out the bottle of duty free vodka and start doing shots. I think the altitude got to us because we ended up getting a little loud. The flight attendant came over and told us we weren't supposed to be opening the bottle on the plane and we were all embarrassed because we were 1/3 of the bottle deep. So we got of the plane and of course I hate US Customs. Since this was my first time ever coming back to the US not from Mexico I had no idea what I was doing. So they stamped my passport, stamped my immigration form, and I was like ok cool I am all good. Not. I threw the slip away thinking ok I am approved. Nope. There is another dick customs officer and he was giving me shit. I told him I didn't have the slip and he didn't believe me. I showed him my boarding pass saying that I just landed and the the stamp in my passport from the other customs officer and he still gave me a hard time. Made me empty my pockets, my jacket pockets, my backpack, then laughed and was like you can just go I checked your passport. So basically he was just being a big giant cock munch. Then we got picked up by Thea's friends to go to this party in Dot. It was fun except I was so unbelievably exhausted that I ended up passing out after 2 hours. The next day Thea's parents picked us up and we dropped Elizabeth off at South Station and they took me out to dinner in Springfield at a sick restaurant called the Red Rose and I went home. It is so weird thinking that this whole thing is over and how awesome and unbelievable this whole thing was.

Going Out Hard

So since we have this little bucket list going we decided that we needed to go out hard and try and do as many things as we can before we leave. Monday I actually went to a class, which has been a rarity for me, then at class it was awesome. I found out that I did not have to go to class anymore for the rest of the semester and if I wanted too the teacher would buy me a beer (obvs did not go). So that night we decided to hit up one of our usual haunts. We had a pretty solid group of people going Krissy, Annalisa, Mitch, Lauren, Elizabeth, Krissy, Thea, Ginny, Mellisa (i think), and me. We went to Varsity first of course because of all the cheap beers and JD & Cokes. After Varsity we hit up Po Na Na!!! It was a really funny night. I love going to Po Na Na because it is a club, but they have tables everywhere to sit at so you can just chill if you don't feel like dancing. During the night we had a funny little photo shoot where between mine and Thea's camera there was like 15 pictures of the girls posing for different things. Good night. Next day was my favorite day of the week of course because it was karaoke!!! We had managed to get James to come out with us too which is a plus. I told James that on our bucket list there was a goal for one of the girls to bang an English dude and that it was his duty to fulfill that duty for them. So we had a pretty sick night at karaoke, I didn't sign up for, but someone signed me up for Mariah Carrey "All I want for Christmas" so James, Mitch and I all sang that. After Karaoke we cruised over to Life because there is this sexy ass poster hanging up everywhere advertising the club, and honest to god that is the only reason why I wanted to go that club. It turned out to be pretty dope. They had £2 pints which is always good. Thea and I were trying to leave and we were looking around for people. We were only able to find Elizabeth and she was in one of her awful drunken rages. So the WHOLE walk to the bus we listened to her bitch, then the WHOLE bus ride home we listened to her bitch, then the WHOLE walk to York House we listened to her bitch. I love listening to people bitch it is really fun...Not. (Just playing Elizabeth you know I love you). Went home passed right out. Next day was really sick. Thea cooked Mitch, Elizabeth, and Me dinner. She made these enchiladas which were some of the best Enchiladas I have ever had in my entire life. I think I am a proper critic too because of my hometown/mexican friends. After our delicious dinner Elizabeth and I tried to go see Paranormal Activity with all my hall mates. Every movie in the theater was sold out so we just ended up going to Oxygen because they have £1.50 shots and they are really good. So we went and chilled there for a while. Side note this is how far I have come since being here, I was looking at the scores for Premier League and I have enough knowledge to know that when Blackburn beat Chelsea that it was an epic upset. It was rainy and gross and I wanted to go home, so everyone else followed suit. Cruised home and chilled with Thea and went to bed. Thursday was a really sick night. We started pregaming in Mitch's room and were planning on going to Coalition with all my hall mates. Coalition was pretty dope on Thursday. They call it Secret Discotheque where they play 80s and 90s music. I was drinking some White Ace to pregame which is like the equivalent to Steel Reserve. Needless to say the results were predictable. I ended up getting really emo at one point and had to leave the club. Overall it was a good night and I definitely want to go back this Thursday too. Throughout this whole week I was supposed to be doing work all day and then going out at night. Managed to not do any work at all any of these days thinking that I would just do it the next day. Needless to say never did any work at all. Friday I woke up mad late and Thea, Elizabeth, and I decided to act like we were the most English people in history. We went afternoon tea at the Mock Turtle, which is right next door to my new enemy Abraham from Kebab No. 5. I know I used to rave about Kebabs, fuck those things. So nasty never want one again and I am so glad I made that bet with Mike so he owes me £20 sukkkkaaa. Tea was really good and we had Scones as well with this sick jam and some type of cream. We then went to H&M where I just followed the girls around for about an hour and zoned out. Then we went to Pav Tav so we get some real fish and chips from a pub. It was cool the idea, but it was more like batter and chips because there wasnt that much fish inside the batter. We all felt like shit for the rest of the night. That night we went over to Jake and Mike's pad to play some beer pong. I haven't played in forever and suck dick, but whatever I hate beer pong. That's what you play when you have a girlfriend and don't want to be social. We all were horrible and just wanted the game to end. So after that I went home at like midnight because I was mad tired. Saturday I actually read for a couple hours for my paper. Then everyone came into my room and we played some more drinking games. I also cooked dinner for me and Thea. I am seriously becoming such a sick chef. I never thought in my life I would cook for anyone and now I am cooking proper meals for people. We made this curry with a bunch of vegetables and rice. Then I through some chicken in it which was so dope. Then Sunday I literally just read and wrote my paper all day which is super gay, but now its done so I am not stressing now I still have the retarded Ethnographic Film paper which I am totally fucked on, but whatever I pulled off Macro last semester I can do this.

The Giving of Thanks

Alright so legit right now I am going to start off saying that I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to be on this experience. It has changed my life in so many ways for the better, given me a whole new prospecitve on life, and all the people I have met and the people who I hope to be my friends for the rest of my life. Anyways, So the Sunday after Amsterdam I just went to the library and read for like a million years, not really, but literally all day. Then there was a stupid fire alarm in York House that night and I tried to hide out in my room. It would go off and on and off and on so finally I just got pissed off and left and went outside. The next day I did the same thing, did not go to class and just read all day in order to prepare to write my essay. I did work and skipped class because I wanted to be able to go out that night for Jena's birthday. She was turning 21 so there was no way I could miss that. We went to Varsity and it was hilarious. Got a little too tipsy, and somehow got in a legit fist fight with Elizabeth. The whole thing started over me not wanting to see Ginny's boobs, which apparently I said very rudely. So since this was like a legit fight we both had battle scars. The next morning Elizabeth and I were talking and asking why we had bruises everywhere, we both had no recollection of our fight. Then Thea text me saying all the pictures that she has are just me and Elizabeth wrestling and fighting. So that night we were supposed to go to a club, but then Thea disappears, I call her and she is somewhere way far away. Eventually I meet up with her. Then we see Mitch and Annalisa on the bus and cruise home. The next day I didn't do a thing, just wrote my essay like a loser. Wednesday was another crazy night. So we start pregaming pretty hard, and go to Oceana. I haven't been to Oceana in a while so it was nice to go back. I kept thinking I wasn't drunk enough which is always a bad sign. This by the way was the first time I rode the Lemon Bus. Krissy, Hollis, and I all rode this while everyone else took the regular bus like chumps. So at Oceana it was hilarious, these Russian girls heard me ordering a drink at the bar and recognized my American accent and were all about that shit. I told them I was from California and they nearly wet themselves. So seamlessly I make it home with Elizabeth and Hollis and on the way home I was passed out and woke up randomly and jumped off the bus because I had to pee really bad. No one knew whether I made it home alright, but as always I managed to. The next day was awesome THANKSGIVING. I had been waiting for this day for a long time. I have not been so pumped about Thanksgiving in such a long time. So all day Elizabeth, Lauren, eventually Krissy, and I were slaving away in Elizabeth's kitchen preparing for our feast. I made some killer mashed potatoes. We also decided to dress for the festivities. We all made headbands and put on some war paint so we could look like the Injuns that helped the Pilgrims make Thanksgiving. (Side note-we weren't ruthlessly slaughtered like the real native americans afterwards) So at dinner I think I ate more food than I have ever eaten on Thanksgiving ever! Like I was SOOOOOO full it was incredible. I started trying to pregame and almost had to throw in the towel, but I championed through it and managed to make my way out. Cool new thing we did too was have Elizabeth go upstairs and drop her bus pass down for me so I could use it as well it was awesome. We went to Casablanca because it is the shit and cheap and cool. So at Casablanca I saw a £600 Burberry jacket chillin on the ground. So I think, "wow, what kind of idiot would leave this laying on the ground in a crowded club, he doesn't deserve to have it." I grab it within maybe 5 seconds he comes up to me and freaks out. I claim I thought it was Elizabeth's jacket, he obviously doesn't believe me, but whatever no harm done. We go home after a pretty funny night. Friday I was pretty tired and didn't do much just chilled out because it has been raining non stop here it is so gay. Then went to bed at around 8:30 and woke up for a couple hours in between, but slept until about 11:30 the next day. Saturday was probably one of the chillest nights I have had here in a while. There was supposed to be some game night, which is mad lame, but Elizabeth, Krissy and I wanted to pregame it to make it fun. We ended up pregaming and was like "fuck this" and just ordered pizza or something and watched District 9. I fell asleep, but then Thea had just got home from Dublin and Mitch and Annalisa came back over and we all chilled into the late hours of the night. Then Sunday we woke up early (10:30) and went out to Sunday Roast with Elizabeth's parents. This has been so sweet, I have managed to have people like me so much that 3 separate sets of parents have taken me to eat. The roast was dank and then Elizabeth and Thea wanted to go out shopping afterward. I hate shopping and lasted about 20 minutes then went home on my own. Later that night after a nap and stuff Elizabeth, Thea, Ginny, Jake and I went out to dinner at this sick Lebonese restaurant with a Hookah Bar on top. Apparently you can't smoke ANYTHING indoors in this country so I we sat in this little overhang and I was freezing, but it was still awesome. We had to wait for like 30 minutes for the bus so we played this lame game that little kids play when they are hiking or in a car or something were you have to say something in alphabetical order of what you are bring to your grandma's house in your trunk. Ya we are all 20/21 and so fucking cool.

I AMsterdam

So Wednesday I won poker and it was freaking awesome. I seriously made Mike my bitch in the game and punked him so hard. Then Thursday was finally the day of AMSTERDAM. I was more excited for this trip then any other trip I have had so far. We booked this ticket so far in advance and have been anticipating it for ages. So we wake up and all slowly meet on our way up to the train station. We do the usual thing and take our train up there. So on this trip was seriously a ridiculous amount of people, 9!!! Thea, Mitch, Annalisa, Jena, Hollis, Ginny, Mike, Lauren, and Me. This shit was tough to handle having everyone kind of not taking the reigns and being in charge. So we go get on our plane, the flight is about 45 min and we land. I think when we landed we then taxied in the airplane for about a half hour. I don't know where the heck we landed, but it was far. So we got there really unsure of what to do. Thea had been here before so she kind of knew what was going on. We ended up buying this pass for 50 euro which gave us free access to about 30 museums, a canal cruise, and free use of the trams in the city. This actually was such a good deal. We went to about 4 museums, used the tram A LOT, and took a canal cruise. Mike didn't buy one and I would give him so much shit every time we went to use our card and get stuff for free, while he had to pay. So we finally take the train into the city, getting lost on the way of course and having to switch trains, and we make it in. So the hostel I booked is called the Flying Pig. There is 2 of them, Uptown and Downtown. I swear on my life I thought I booked the downtown one so we went there. I guess since I was drunk when I booked it I must have misread so I was obviously wrong. We then take another 30 minutes to find our Uptown hostel. It was still pretty sweet. Basically like living in a bar for a couple days. They had a bar as their common room. We get in and check in. Lauren booked her trip after I already booked the hostel so we had to sneak her in and she and Ginny split the cost because they shared a bed. Mitch and Annalisa booked a hotel near us originally, but since I am an idiot and booked the wrong hostel, there hotel was no where near us. So once we get settled in we are starving and decide to go eat at a shitty overpriced "sports" bar. This place sucked, I really wish I just went to McDonald's. After this is when the fun begins. We go next door to a coffee shop called the Bull Dog. As soon as I get in there I am in awe. This country is so weird. That is the only way I can describe it, WEIRD. Side note, I don't know if this is fact, but I am pretty sure there is more bikes then people in Amsterdam. Everyone is riding a bike, and by everyone I mean EVERYONE. Old men, young men, grannies, young professionals, homeless people, EVERYONE. They love their freakin bikes there. You have to look out everywhere you go or you will get destroyed by a bike. So I get into the coffee shop and help everyone get settled in with their new products, and decide to have a chocolate muffin for a snack. Thea and I, the only people who had Annalisa's number both left our phones in the hostel so we had to go back so we could find them, but we ended up meeting them on the way to the hostel, so it was all good. We go back chill at the Bull Dog for a while, then decide to hit up another spot. Going on a vacation like this was so strange. Everyone just gets quite and especially when there is so many people it begins to feel mad awkward. Then everyone just starts laughing at how quite it is, then I'll make so stupid joke. It was weird. We went to a couple shops, where I had no idea what they were called. One was like Jamaican themed, but then when you were inside it looked like you were in a spaceship. Then this room we were sitting in was supposed to be some planet. It looked pretty sick. In this coffee shop they played like 4 songs in a row with the same music, but a different person singing along to this music. I don't know if that is common, but it was mad strange. Then they played this song called "Bird of Prey" which honestly lasted about a half hour. We would zone out for a couple minutes then we would be like "is this song seriously still playing?" Mike kept trying to play ice breakers because of the mad awkward silences going on, and it made it worse. Then after sitting in there and not buying anything being dicks, we went to another coffee shop. We just sat there and left because there was not enough seating and the guy yelled at us saying it is a coffee shop and not a party. So after that we called it a night because we were all really tired. I went to bed at about 1130 and slept till 1030. I was well rested for the next day. We were all laughing at about how lazy we were the first day. We woke up the next day and wanted to quickly make use of our passes. We went to the Rijksmuseum, which from what I saw is pretty much a Dutch history museum. You weren't supposed to take pictures inside there, but I managed to sneak one of cupid. It was pretty cool, but after we went to the Van Gough Museum, which was awesome. Cruised around there for a little bit, then took the pictures of the I AMsterdam sign. Mike made a funny joke asking why America did not think of that first. Valid point. At various points during the day we were eating snacks and had some good pastries. The weather was also strange too, it kept raining off and on all day, which was pretty lame. Finally we were able to meet up with Mitch and Annnalisa right when we were getting on the canal cruise. This canal cruise was so lame I managed to take a nap on it. After the fun began. We went to Cafe 420 and and hung out with some hot chocolate. Then we hit up McDonald's for one of our about 5-6 McDonald's pit stops. I ate another hot dog and we went back to chill at the hostel. I had a couple drinks at the bar and chilled, but then we decided to out to the Red Light District which was ridiculous. There was legit red lights in the window were the whores were standing trying to solicite men walking by. There was also venues everywhere with live sex shows going on for only 25 euro. Thea jokingly said she would pay 15 to some promoter and he told her she could pay 15 if she gave him a bj. Then called her an American bitch (thanks George Bush), so she was thoroughly offended and we proceeded to walk. After our adventure to the Red Light District, we went back to the hostel again. Everyone went to bed, but me and Thea still chilled in the bar area downstairs for a while. Dude do you meet the weirdest people in hostels. Freaks gravitate to those places. Some of the shit you hear from people talking is unfathomable. Then you always get the one prick who thinks he is so cultured and knows everything about the city and the world because he has spent his whole summer living by himself traveling Europe on some money they won from a law suit for getting hit by a Budweiser truck when they were delivering telegrams (true story, swear to god, met a bitch in Ireland and that was her story). So after listening to some weirdos t (this fag from Northeastern) we went back upstairs and fell asleep. Had to wake up early Saturday to check out and ate some breakfast for free. Then came the longest day ever. We took the train into downtown and began looking for a smart shop and looking for the Rembrandt house. We found a smart shop and got what we needed, then went to the Rembrandt house. It was pretty sweet, but then afterward we all felt a little funny. Walked around aimlessly forever and then found the Nemo science center. It looked like boat that was sinking and we went inside and freaked out. This place was strange. You could sit in this booth and here teenagers "thoughts". Honestly this is one of the most liberal open countries in the world. They had sex exhibits where little kids were running around and they had a "kama sutra" sort of thing. Shit was intense. But I think this makes complete sense to teach little kids stuff like this because that way when they are teenagers they will no what to do, instead of be like Sarah Palin's daughter and think "Oh you cant get pregnant the first time you have sex" or whatever bull the evangelical's teach their children. Literally after that we walked around for EVER when we were done. We had no idea what to do. The worst part about having 9 people is one person would decide what we were doing and then we would walk for 10 minutes and someone would say "wait what are we doing?" then we would have to regroup and reestablish what we were doing. O ya during the day we somehow split up with Annalisa and Mitch because we got off the train and they didn't get off in time. That was before we went to any museum. We find them again and go get our stuff from the hostel. We then hung out in this park called Vondell Park for like a half hour and then Mitch, Mike, Annalisa, and I go to this coffee shop to get some snacks. Everyone else had just gone to McDonald's. We eventually leave to go to the airport and make our way back home. I was starving so I went to McDonald's at the airport. So throughout this whole day Mike was tripping hardcore. Like seriously on a good one. Thea made the best reference that referred to his state of mind. He was like Dory from "Finding Nemo". Short term memory. Throughout the whole day he had no idea what was going on and was in desperate need of water. It was actually one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life. I felt like I was a little kid and I could pick on him, and he was like mental or something. It was strange, anyway he made it out fine and managed to have a good time. We all get home pass out after an excellent trip.

The Saga that was Paris (Part 3)

After the museum we decide to go get something to eat. We go to this little cafe across the street and I got a ham and cheese crepe that was so good. There was Dijon Mustard with it, which was so good. So after this we decide to go back to the Eiffel Tower to look at it at night. Seriously I can not convey how much I love the Eiffel Tower at night. One of the most amazing things to see in the world. I have seen some shit too now that I am a world traveler. Elizabeth, Mike, Thea and I all just laid in the grass and just stared at the beauty that was the Eiffel Tower. We got to see the light show too which was really sick. Before we got to the Eiffel Tower Mike bought a barret and looked like a total French dude. We used eyeliner to put a mustache on him and he wore Thea's scarf. He looked hilarious. We even got a picture of us doing the Eiffel Tower on Elizabeth which was awesome. So after that we go on a huge adventure for a dessert crepe, but we couldn't find one because everything was closed. We got on the train went to the coach station, got McDonald's again which was awesome. Seriously best McChicken sandwiches ever in Paris. It's cool too, Elizabeth got a beer with her combo meal at McDonald's. So this is where the bus ride from hell begins. As we get on the bus we all had our own row and took up 2 seats each. Right as the coach was about to leave 2 girls get on and try and sit next to Thea, so I was just like come back and sit with me. So everyone in our group except us had 2 seats to themselves. We drive forever and get to Calais. We didn't go through the Chunnel again, but this time we got on a fairy. We got off the bus and had to go through customs and get our visa checked. Then we got back on the bus and I was expecting that we would just drive on the ferry and we would sleep in the bus. So I just took a sleeping pill and thought cool I will pass out for the rest of the time. No I had to get off and go sit in the lounge of the ferry. I was a walking zombie. I passed out in the fetal position on this couch. I woke up and got off the ferry and immediately passed out on the bus again. We had to wake up in London at 4:30 am and wait 2 and half freakin hours for our bus from London to Brighton which sucked. I slept on the cold hard floor for about a half hour at one point. I was so angry and tired and I lost my ticket and had to go to this stupid office and wait forever to get a new one. The bus was extremely cold and uncomfortable. I thought I was going to die. We get back to Brighton and I was just so angry and tired. I get home and pass out at once. I wake up with Mitch knocking on my door asking me about the trip. I tell him all the shit that went down and tried to show him pictures of Mike, but I can't find my camera anywhere. I thought I had left it on the ferry because it fell out of my pocket. Little did I know I had just given it to Thea and since she didn't wake up until 6 pm, I went the whole day thinking that it was lost. I had the worst day ever thinking about how I lost my camera. I didn't go to one class and was just pissed all day. So after that night we went up to the hill behind East Slope because there was supposed to be a meteor shower. We didn't see shit though. So since I was exhausted I went back and passed out for about 12 hours. Woke up next day hung out most of the day then we went to Karaoke at King and Queen. King and Queen was dope as usual, but at the end of the night we all split into like 3 different groups. Thea and I went home and went to bed. Today I woke up and chilled doing everything possible to procrastinate and now tonight is poker night where I am hoping to take some bitch's moneys.

The Saga that was Paris (Part deux)

After Thea calls me, I call Elizabeth and am like "lets go party." So I meet her at the train station and we take these crazy directions to this place where we are going to meet Thea and her friends. We get off the train I have no idea where to go so we just wait. Elizabeth and I get some drinks at this restaurant which was basically just soda. We ordered the weakest Long Island Iced Tea ever made. Finally Thea and this girl Jessie meet us. Jessie is a bitch and me and her are polar opposites. I tell a funny joke, which she thinks is not funny because it was pretty offensive, but hey quit being such a prude bitch. The joke was about the Venus Di Milo. Mike said a funny little quip about how she would be easy to rape cause she has no arms. Pretty offensive, but hilarious. I told Thea, Elizabeth and Jessie this and while I was dying laughing, all of them were just sitting there in silence. Needless to say they were all thoroughly offended about rape jokes so I was doomed with this girl the whole night. This girl hated me the whole night, we were going back and forth and just being drunk dumb asses. After the restaurant where we polished off a couple bottles of wine, we went to this bar. It was pretty cool. Some funny music playing and the drinks were extremely overpriced. I bought a Jack and Coke for basically $20. It was insane. After the Jack and Coke the night goes blank. Apparently I run off and am no where to be found for about 2 hours. They are searching the city aimlessly for me. At one point my phone dies and this is where I black back in. I was so confused at how I got where I was and why they were so pissed at me. Luckily I got into this restaurant and am able to put my sim card in this guys phone and he lets me use it to call them. They come find me, beat the shit out of me and we make our way back home to the hotel. I see a McDonald's and am convinced we are close to our hotel because logically this is the same exact McDonald's...not. I keep telling them that we are right around the corner which we are totally not. Eventually we get into a cab and drive 1o minutes and get back to the hotel. At the hotel apparently they don't have 24 hour reception. Elizabeth kicked the door down and we had to break into the hotel, it was crazy. I was so scared the next morning thinking we were going to get in trouble and go to jail for breaking and entering. When we got to the room, I passed out right on the floor fully dressed with shoes on. I wake up the next day and take one of the longest showers of my life and felt like shit the whole day. We got on the train to Versailles and I slept most of the way. We got off the train made our way over to the Palace and as we were taking pictures out front, I randomly bumped into Liz. We were both going crazy because it was so random. It was crazy too because I was thinking how sick it would be to bump into someone randomly in Europe and there is happened. We made our way into the palace which was pretty cool, but the best part was the Gardens. By the way I love being a student because I got into everything for free. It is the shit. The Gardens were amazing like one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I was not feeling to hot so I decided to chill on a bench and just soak in the beauty of the gardens. It was so relaxing and after that I felt a lot better. Mike and I really wanted to go to McDonald's because I wanted to order "freedom" fries, and Mike wanted a Royal with cheese like they talked about in Pulp Fiction. This was the sickest McDonald's I have ever seen it was so nice inside. After that we were going to go back into the city center and see what we wanted to do. At that point we split because Jena, Krissy, and Lauren wanted to do shopping and we just wanted to chill and have a relaxing day. So after we split we kind of messed around in the metro station. At one point we were walking backwards on the moving sidewalk for a while. We then decided that we wanted to go to Musee D'orsay. It was a really nice museum that we got into free for (love being a student). We went through, saw tons of art. Funny anecdote about the museum was we were walking through looking at all the paintings of nature and portraits of people. I walk into one room that was really cool and had some really good paintings and the room immediately behind it the main center piece of the freaking exhibition was a painting of a spread legged woman with a full on bush. This was disgusting and if I would have been expecting this then there would have been no reaction, but since it came out of no where I yell and jump and leave the room at once. I made an ass out of myself and looked like I was 5 years old, but hey it was shocking. Mike claims it was one of the top 10 best moments of his life. We then look at many more paintings leave the museum.

The Saga that was Paris (Part 1)

So Friday night comes around and I am getting ready to get on my 13 hour trip that will land me in Paris. So as usual Elizabeth, Thea, Mike and Me are running extremely late to the point where we think that we are going to miss our bus. Jena, Lauren, and Krissy were already in town and waiting at the bus stop. When we got there the bus was late so we thought well hell let's get a kebab. We went into Kebab No. 5 and as soon as we ordered our food, the bus pulls up and is trying to hurry because it was already late. So the douche bag worker at the Kebab place was taking his sweet time, and not giving us our change. He thought Elizabeth was trying to steal £2 and was just being super sketchy. The kebab wasn't even good so I am pretty sure that is the last time I will ever eat one. I even bet Mike £20 that I will never eat one while I am here. So we got on the bus and were all pretty excited for our trip to Paris because besides Elizabeth none of us had ever been there. We were chatting, eating some candy, and finally we got to London and had to wait for our direct bus to Paris. We hung out got some food from KFC, and played cards in the coach station. Finally we got on our bus. The bus was really crowded so we all had to sit next to someone and it sucked. I literally did not sleep at all that night. Throughout the whole night I am pretty sure I slept for maybe an hour and the longest stretch was probably 30 minutes of me sleeping, and the rest was broken up. So right as I was attempting to fall asleep one of the times, we came up to the Channel Tunnel, also known as the "Chunnel". I hate the Chunnel, it was one of the weirdest things I have ever experienced. Our coach drove up into some train car and they shut us in the train car. Then the train took us to Calais in France. It was so weird because it felt like an oven inside this train car and it was the weirdest thing too feeling like you are moving but the bus isn't moving. So after roasting for about 30 minutes we finally got out of the Chunnel. I literally just sat there sweating and not sleeping until we got to Paris. I was tired when I first got off the bus, but we had to get going. We got into the city center and immediately went to a cafe trying to find some food. I didn't get anything, but we chilled there trying to figure out what we were going to do for the next couple days. First we made our way over to Notre Dame Cathedral. It was amazing going inside there. I didn't get the audio tour so I know nothing about it really, but it was so cool seeing all the stain glass windows, and the huge seating area. I lit a couple prayer candles and even took a big candle that you were supposed to donate money for and kept it. After we went out of the Cathedral we went over and got a crepe. It was amazing, I had Banana with Nutella. After that we went on an adventure trying to find our hotel. So Andrea told me she stayed in this hotel that was a pretty sweet location and kinda cheap. We had to sneak people into the hotel because we only booked for 4 people and had 7. The weird thing too was that you had to give the key back when you left the building so there was no way we could get 2 keys and the stairs and elevator were right by the reception. So we tried to divise a plan to sneak people up, but just ended up walking Mike up there. After we checked in we split up. Thea went off with her roommate from school, and Elizabeth went off with her friend who was in Paris at the same time. So Krissy, Lauren, Jena, Mike and I all went off to the Louve. It was so sick seeing all the stuff on the way over there too. We got to ride the metro, which is really cool because I don't know any French and at no point did I get lost on the train. We also got these 2 day passes that got us on as much as we wanted and we got our money's worth for sure. In the Louve we saw all the main sights, the Mona Lisa, Venus di Milo, and a bunch of the renaissance art from the late 15th century to early 16th century. After the Louve we headed over to the Eiffel Tower because we wanted to see it in the day time and be able to go up the tower and see the city, but we also wanted to see it at night so we went like an hour before the sun went down so we could get the best of both worlds. We were only able to go up to 2nd level because the wind was crazy and we would have probably fallen off if we had gone to the top. Being on the tower was so crazy and amazing. You could see for so far and the sky was nice and clear. It eventually got really cold and dark. Being on the tower at night is crazy we even were on when the light show was going on. Since I was so cold, I thought that some hard liquor might warm me up and it did. I had preemptively brought a bottle of lemonade and vodka so I could liven things up a little, and I did to say the least. We went down to take pictures of the tower all lit up, and there are all these crazy African vendors who are trying to sell souvinears. I was going up to mess with them, but I just ended up buying a light up Eiffel Tower. Everyone thought I was so stupid because it was 5 euro, but I was drunk and didn't care. We then go out to dinner and Mike and I were intent on eating a French dinner. Although we failed miserably it was still awesome. We both got Chicken Ceasar Salads and some drinks. The meal wasnt that bad only 12 euro and the drink was just as much as the meal almost. Side note, Parisians are nuts. The beer there cost just as much if not cheaper then the soda. A bottle of Coke was 5 euro!! That is like almost $8. Needless to say I did not buy coke. After dinner we made our way back to the hotel and were thinking about laying low. Then I got a call from Thea with her asking what we were doing, she told me she wanted me and Elizabeth to come meet up with her where she was getting dinner so we could meet her friend. Little did I know chaos would insue.